i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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