Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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