one might say we're banned from that church
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
