I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
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on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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