so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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