dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I need moral support for this bender
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
