Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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