is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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