Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
These tits shall not be calmed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
