Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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