i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
