so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
