You really coming over, don't trick.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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