the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
A bitchslap is in order.
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