drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
