Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize