Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
