There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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