my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize