Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
