I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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