He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
foreskin is a definite game changer
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
