I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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