That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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