idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
