Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
