I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
