Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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