Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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