called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
