it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
