We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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