Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize