Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is it because I queefed?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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