I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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