Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
