I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
