I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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