I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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