i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
