What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
