She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
worst night to have a conscience
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
