I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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