I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
