wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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