WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
