do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
