I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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