she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
