i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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