maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
