When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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