we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
