oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
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We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
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My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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