thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Drake has all the answers
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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