My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
