The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
