I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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