I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
