Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
