He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
