Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize