life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
