Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize